The Bizarre: The "Numbness Thing"!

 No, the woman in the photo is NOT me, but she certainly expresses how I feel when I experience this MOST distressing "numbness thing"! 

To explain: When I was a college student, 19 years old and attending the U.C. Santa Cruz college in Northern California, I was invited to a typical sort of "hippie" party and sleepover in the Santa Cruz mountains at a friend's home. I knew that there would be marijuana there, and while I never was a big fan, I sometimes indulged in a very restrained sort of way. (I never liked the sensation of "getting high", which basically meant losing control... often feeling paranoid... it was rarely a pleasant experience!) But, at that age, I wanted to go along with my peers and fit in.

Silly, indeed! What a high price I wound up up paying for my conformity!

At this particular party, "thai stick" was offered to the guests. To this day, I don't even really know what this is! I DO know that it is exceptionally strong, and I am quite susceptible to even the mildest dose of a mind-altering substance! I took two to three tokes, and was off soaring... 

I kept getting higher....and higher still! It was SUCH an intense "high" that it was actually getting scary. Though I most certainly didn't want to be left alone in such a state, the party guests began wandering away... heading off to various beds, or to couches and sleeping bags (as was my case). However! As soon as I started drifting off to sleep, I would notice--to my horror!!!-- that I would cease to breathe! I kid you not... I was certain that I would DIE in my sleep if I actually let myself go unconscious! 

I forced myself to stay awake for as long as I possibly could, but of course I couldn't prevent myself from eventually falling asleep. Obviously, I did NOT die in my sleep, since I am here in this world and writing about this traumatic event 46 years later! 

The next day after I awoke, I had the most troubling, disconcerting sensation of being outside of my body...somewhere up above it, but only very remotely connected to it! I lost virtually all sensation of taste and touch...It was as if I were observing someone else's body in an empathic way, and could experience SOME of what "they" felt, but only distantly. 

When this continued for a good couple of weeks after the party, I became more and more alarmed. I thought I would never get back to "normal", and that I seemed to have sustained permanent brain damage! I made an appointment with a neurologist and went to see him. He conducted various tests before declaring I was "normal"; he couldn't find anything wrong neurologically. I begged to differ! But...his findings were "conclusive" and I left his office more distressed than ever! 

I think it took a full three weeks to feel like I was "back in my body", as it were, and regain full command of my senses once more. What a great relief that was! However, this was NOT the end of the story!

Throughout my life, ever since that party with the thai stick, I have repeatedly experienced what can only be rightfully called "flashbacks". Every couple of years or so, I relive the experience of losing connection with my senses--but typically, oddly, ONLY the sensations of physical feeling and taste. My vision, hearing and sense of smell remain intact. But... my FEELING and TASTING sensations are reduced down to about 50% of what is normal! It is always greatly disturbing, exasperating and anxiety-producing! 

Thankfully, strangely, it only lasts for about a week... but quite a terminally LONG week, I must say! I HATE losing my sense of taste, especially....foodie that I am! Additionally, I inadvertently bite my cheeks and tongue because I cannot quite feel them...and I pull muscles easily because they cannot be felt much, either. In essence, the experience is akin to having my entire body shot up with novocaine, and this novocaine takes a full week to wear off! Can you imagine?!?

Interestingly, there are various triggers for this "numbness thing". They include: consuming too much alcohol (something I have NOT done for many decades now); too little sleep; extreme stress; migraines...and now a first this time, THIS week, right now, a severe head cold! Even as I describe it, it sounds positively mad, no?! Whoever heard of a MARIJUANA flashback, after all?! I have heard that such mental disturbances occur sometimes after taking hallucinogens like LCD (never touched the stuff myself). So...it could be that I am a total anomaly! Yet... isn't it logical that anything that alters the mind will affect brain chemistry? And thus have the potential of creating this sort of "flashback"?  What is astounding, though, is the fact that it has recurred over so many decades. I can only surmise that it may keep happening-- at the usual interval of 2-3 years--for the rest of my life! 

Dear readers, as I type this, my muscles and joints ache from the cold/flu virus (but as if from far away), my skin itches (but I really have to focus intently to get any relief when I scratch it!) and I desperately want "back in" to my body, to feel "normal" again. So...I would greatly appreciate your comments! Have YOU ever experienced anything like this, EVER? If not, do you know anyone who HAS?! Do you--or they--have any recommendations as far as getting it to go away?! Any and all suggestions would be most welcome!

Otherwise, I just have to tough it out as always, and like with so MANY strange ailments that afflict us humans, I console myself with, "This too shall pass!" Just...in another five and a half days or so!